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GD Channel by momiji-aya
GD Channel
tracing... i wish to improve drawing peoples digitally
since I was little kid, I have been moving house a lot, include school... the influence I feel currently is that I don't have childhood friends at all... as long parents are around, it kinda not really bugging me till most of my fave adult passed away T^T I get lonely and lonelier Waaaah!

get myself busy and busier as I grow up and get older... I wish I can stay forever in my 20's, cause I physically get tired easily now I think I've fainted. since we moved I never stop cleaning and arranging stuff, upstairs and downstairs...

and as i said in my journal last weeks, this is the big change that happening... i found a shelter with my Dad, but I'm loosing freedom... I think my life might get really stressing and boring at once. Been up at 6 am daily and got home at 8 pm.. tired and stress... kinda no mood for art lately Stare Disbelief Stare OMG! Bleh 
  • Mood: Tired

Feels like a hell week... i keep getting overloaded work... i got headache a lot lately. mood get worsen cause the more i am capable, the more they load me with merciless jobdesks which already out of line...geez... i kinda hate my job now, but still not enough courage to become jobless again, its my 6th months in hell, but i still need the money hahaha

i think i have became a slave for money... i need to get a fine phone and camera, i have a goal to reach, which cost me a lot.... so i have to stay and bear a little longer... i just hope my body can stand these... I'm sorry.....

and oh... i'll be moving soon, in 2days... faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar from workplace.......... i can imagine more torture since i am weak to travel far everyday.... i hate the traffic jam, i hate the pollution, since i ride a motor bike mostly.... it means less sleep and less dating with my laptop (drawing, gaming, watch movies, browsing, etc.....) i can imagine more hell from now hahahaha

My Dad is kinda over protected and bossy, i will have difficult time being myself when we finally gotta stay together for long time after 6years or more apart. i am trying to be nice and behave... even i know that might kill me one day..... the parent's way of safe and sound is kinda torture for a rebel like me. i love to stay awake till midnight drawing and stuff... i love to sleep longer when i got a day off... that gonna be hard to do if i stay with my Dad. oh, God!!! at other point, i wanna take care of him, since he is not young anymore... wanna spend more time understanding each others....last 2 months together with his family was a total mess... i gotta say that he have a really embarrassing family members, I am younger but i am not so stupid to agree with all the madness those elderly tried to made us into... 

they only after one thing,money! some of them even already reach the point of psychopath. what an interesting family ehh.... we Asian are mostly family guy... especially who carry the same family name.... my Dad is kinda in difficult situation to choose... Since Mom gone... he is kinda brokenhearted... i will try to treat him better.... since we never agree one with another hahahaha

when i was kid, i kinda desperate with this kind of relationship, it changed my personality a lot... but i'm glad i survived... there gonna be more to deal with.... life is never easy, but i wanna live! gotta stay strong and face all the difficulties even if i'm alone 

since i saw some peoples who did bad things to me , they seem happier than me... i think i could be better if i let myself be careless n forgive them... that makes me think of karma a lot.... maybe i was an asshole so i gotta pay the 'seems to be unfair life' in this lifetime... 

last but not least, i think i could be smoking free after i move... i have become a passive smoker for years here... it's kinda suffocating. the peoples is super fine. super nice family member's of my Mom's side... but both are heavy smoker... it's killing me. i cant stand smoke at all, i get dizzy & cough more. ahh that makes me concern about them too... i'm going to see them less T^T

Sometimes just fells like i wanna put everyone i love at one place and live happily ever after with them... but in real life its just not a chance hahaha... i could love 2 peoples who dislike each others.... but both love me hahaha... geez, maybe that's why life is more challenging...

complicated yet excited
  • Mood: Movingon

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CatkinSvedka Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the llama! :heart:
(1 Reply)
liha-irden Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks for the llama!!
(1 Reply)
seth-ravenclaw Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks for the llama~ :dummy:
(1 Reply)
C0ren71n Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2015
Thanks for the Llama :peace:.
(1 Reply)
AbominableNurse Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2015  Hobbyist
Thankies for the llama!
(1 Reply)
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