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since I was little kid, I have been moving house a lot, include school... the influence I feel currently is that I don't have childhood friends at all... as long parents are around, it kinda not really bugging me till most of my fave adult passed away T^T I get lonely and lonelier 
get myself busy and busier as I grow up and get older... I wish I can stay forever in my 20's, cause I physically get tired easily now
since we moved I never stop cleaning and arranging stuff, upstairs and downstairs...
and as i said in my journal last weeks, this is the big change that happening... i found a shelter with my Dad, but I'm loosing freedom... I think my life might get really stressing and boring at once. Been up at 6 am daily and got home at 8 pm.. tired and stress... kinda no mood for art lately
get myself busy and busier as I grow up and get older... I wish I can stay forever in my 20's, cause I physically get tired easily now
since we moved I never stop cleaning and arranging stuff, upstairs and downstairs... and as i said in my journal last weeks, this is the big change that happening... i found a shelter with my Dad, but I'm loosing freedom... I think my life might get really stressing and boring at once. Been up at 6 am daily and got home at 8 pm.. tired and stress... kinda no mood for art lately
Eighth Year of Chasing Career Here
oh well, time surely flies..... i have new role at work since July 2023. life wasn't easy on me in 2023. lots of emotional drains on work, dirty politics, betrayal and survival mode is at the most actively used hahaha I have to wait 8 months to claim my reward after all the dramas at work, but yet things aren't get settled completely. having layers of incompetence bosses is totally pain in the *ss peoples at my department might think that i need this position badly, my boss might think i am naive and they can keep on using me to do things they couldn't fix because they don't want their hand to get dirty. many times i would have slap them all with a fish but then i realized, oh well, let them be.. it' like dealing with zombies, they only wanna eat my brain, while i am working my *ss off for my fur babies sake at least they have to live their best while I'm around :heart: 2024, please be kinder...
empty
Two of my favorite celebration in life are Christmas and Lunar New Year. But recently these 2 occasions gave me a terribly sad felling. In Christmas 2014 i lost my Mom, Lunar New Year 2023 i lost my father... out of the blue i am an orphan without elder i can count on anymore... suddenly i am the eldest in the family where we are strangers one to another.. i wonder is this the time we start parting for real or should i work hard to get everybody's back.. my life recently filled with love of my doggos... work are no longer fun, beside the monthly payment.. its like a ticking bomb to chose keeping the job and lost my doggos, or dump the job and bring my doggos home... i feel so lost i'm not happy not sad just simply empty
6th Year and 6 Hours
I feel like i wanna write after sometime... I get to learn a lot from this company i am currently working for, i get to see so less peoples have dignity and integrity. Most peoples get to their position not because they are capable, but because they have a/some 'backup(s)'. It doesn't matter if they are capable or not, they can sit still in nice position and untouchable. they are lucky, but become a disaster for the company itself. I do'nt know if the chairman aware of this. Obviously, Its sad, for someone like me who climb up with all effort i have these 11th year trying to earn living independently in this province. moving from capital city to this province was not easy, i was so angry and lost back then, i never get to choose and walk on the path i want. back then i keep blaming the external factors. But, slowly i get to learn that i wont go anywhere if i never try, and failing is not the end of everything. After moving, life was never easy, i get to head to head with my parent
Happy New Year 2020 2021 2022 !!!
Happy New Year 2020 :party: Happy New Year 2021 :party: Happy New Year 2022 :party: Seems like i have not writing anything since end 2019 when covid-19 pandemic restriction started in my area... Well, life have changed a bit since... i have become more loner because of the OCD i had... 2020 was a very tiring year, i grow so many of grey hairs because of work pressures in pandemic. 2020 was also a blessing when my dog gave birth of 5 puppies on 9th November, my whole life changed. My daily filled with tons of Oxytocin from both mom and puppies, for months been only focusing on them growing and sent them for adoptions :heart: During pandemic, my nose bleed from allergic of mask micro dust, both hands bleed cause of too much soap. I've been always distance myself from unnecessary physical contacts long before pandemic, i think, i have no problem to keep that habit. but yet, i got covid on March last year (2021)... Symptom was once shivering, i thought i was too tired
© 2015 - 2024 momiji-aya
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